Tofu “Egg” Salad

I wrote this post almost a year ago now, but we forgot to post it:

“I haven’t owned a TV in over a year. I got rid of mine when I was unemployed and realized that I actually didn’t miss it at all. I still watched a few shows here and there on, and was able to appreciate them better than I ever did before. Those nights were as special as a movie night. At this point, I haven’t been watching anything and its really been totally fine. That is, until I realized that So You Think You Can Dance is back on! That is my ultimate favorite show, and I actually get sad if I miss it. Luckily, its everyone else’s favorite show too- even the very manliest of family members and friends. They say they appreciate the dancers’ “athleticism.” So they record it at their own homes, and I get to come over weekly and watch it. TV really is much more special the less access you have to it, and boy are you more productive with your relaxation time. We spend a lot of time slack lining in my backyard, cooking together, chatting at the new dining room table, and listening to podcast radio shows like This American Life.”

Well, things have changed a bit. I now have a giant TV, cable, and a DVR. Its not mine. Its the roommate’s. But Wes has informed me that as long as hockey exists, we must own TV and cable. HOWever, my opinions from last year have not changed. I occasionally (ha! occasionally) find myself deciding to do my computer work in front of the TV, and I get totally sucked in. I’ll watch marathons of the dumbest shows and I just can’t pull myself away! Have you seen “Say Yes to the Dress”? What about “Sweet Home Alabama” (Its “The Bachelorette”, Southern style)? I say I have to watch things like this because my sister’s getting married, but it teaches you nothing. And I can watch like 6 episodes in a row. TV is awful. You really should just totally remove it from your house altogether.

Anyway, this tofu egg salad, adapted from Chez Bettay, The Vegan Gourmet, is not for eating in front of your TV. Its for camping, or taking on field trips to museums, like we did this weekend. Here’s one of my most thrilling encounters:

Tofu “Egg” Salad


4 servings

Prep Time / Cook Time


Activity Guide

Car Camping, Day Trip, Picnic


  • 1 tablespoons celery seeds
  • 1 tablespoon turmeric
  • 1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
  • 1 tablespoons Dijon mustard
  • 3 tablespoons cider vinegar
  • 1 tablespoon agave nectar or honey
  • 12-ounce package extra firm tofu
  • 1/2 cup mayo (vegan or regular)
  • 2 stalks celery, finely chopped
  • 4 scallions chopped
  • 1/2 cup radishes, diced
  • 1/4 cup dill pickles, diced, or relish


  • Cutting board
  • Knife
  • Large bowl
  • Skillet
  • Small bowl
  • Whisk
  • Kitchen towel


  1. Remove the tofu from its packaging, wrap in a kitchen towel, and press (under the skillet) for about 2 hours, to remove as much liquid as possible.
  2. In a skillet, lightly toast the spices, just until they’re fragrant, about 1 minute.
  3. Pour the spices into the small bowl, and add the wet ingredients (mustard, vinegar, and agave). Whisk together.
  4. In the large mixing bowl, squish up the tofu until it is crumbled evenly. Add 2 tablespoons of the spice mixture and mix until the tofu is evenly coated. Taste and add another tablespoon if needed.
  5. Add the mayo, celery, scallions, radishes, and relish/pickles to the bowl mix well (your hands are the best tool for this job). Add salt and pepper to taste.
  6. Serve in sandwiches or with crackers.

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